Local Heart, Global Soul

March 21, 2010

Better to Polish Off the instructions first, eh?

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Himself and I went to the funeral of a relative last week. I dressed up and for once, painted my nails with nail varnish.

Usually my nails grow like weeds, and but are not strong so break like  glass.  Between the breaks at the top and the ever increasing gap between nail varnish and new growth at the base,  I usually can’t keep up the maintenance so usually don’t bother.

I have a small drawer full of little bottles of base coats, top coats and colours, all set for a home manicure that most of the time amounts to good intention.

Naturally after a few days the varnish is chipping off and my nails are looking tatty. I’m sitting next to the bath supervising kid bath time.

I want to clean the remaining polish off.  I’m not feeling great. In the medicine cabinet there is a little pot of  nail polish remover, the sort where you rub your fingernails on a little block of foam rubber and all the colour comes off without hassle.

I grab the little pot,  rub my fingers, but nothing seems to happen. Grrr it’s been ages since I used this stuff, it must be old and have lots it’s oomph.

I put Nail Polish Remover onto the shopping list for Himself to deal with and forget about it for the moment.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Later in the evening it’s  time to take medication… blech ! it tastes even worse than usual.  I brush my teeth and go to bed. Next morning it’s time for another round of pills. Ugh, these are tasting more foul by the minute.   For the next two days I periodically have an unexplained foul taste in my mouth.

Yesterday Himself went out to do the weekly shopping and bought back nail polish remover. Hang on, did they change the packaging?  It’s the same type of pot but it’s different.  I take the lid off and dip my nails… the polish comes off in an instant.  As usual I wash my hands well, with a plenty of soap and later on I take pills again. Yeah, No bitter bad taste. Well not more than usual anyway.

Finally the penny drops. I go back to the bathroom cabinet and pull out the first little bottle. I start to laugh, the joke is definitely on me.  Ever since my daughter was old enough to have two teeth in her head she has bitten her nails. She bites them relentlessly,  sometimes far enough down that they  bleed.

About a year and a half ago we bought  several different paint-on preparations that make your nails taste ghastly to deter her. She’d paint it on and then sit licking it off with no apparent adverse reaction for the disgusting taste. It was no deterrent and we gave up after a few weeks.

Guess what? I don’t bite my nails,  and I completely and totally forgot about this stuff. Naturally it doesn’t do a good job of removing nail polish.  Useless in fact. I can now however attest to the fact that it tastes horrible and I can also shake my head in wonder as to how it’s possible that my daughter could be so immune to the disgusting taste.

Duh, I also resolve to look at the labels better next time I take something out of the bathroom medicine cabinet.


  1. LOL! OMIGOD! This is hysterical! You poor thing. You must have thought you were going insane. As for your daughter, don’t worry too much about her. I bit my nails mercilessly and that nailbiter preventor stuff did NOTHING. I didn’t mind it at all. Eventually, I grew out of it and have lovely, natural nails as an adult. She will, too. I promise! 🙂

    Comment by milkayphoto — March 21, 2010 @ 1:38 am | Reply

    • I can’t believe how long the bitter taste actually lasted, AND how foul it tasted. Little Miss still bites her nails relentlessly (sadly) I never have and I just don’t get it.

      Comment by kiwidutch — March 29, 2010 @ 11:16 am | Reply

  2. What a story! Love it! have you ever actually thought of becoming a writer? You have away with words to make it so interesting; thank you for your visit.

    Comment by Rita — March 21, 2010 @ 2:17 pm | Reply

  3. I’ve stopped biting my nails, painting them, oggling at them (used to admire them when I was younger). The only thing I haven’t stopped is to trim them when they begin to tear at my pizza dough (heh-heh).
    I hate the smell of polish remover, it reeks for days. Maybe lemon with soda should work?

    Comment by sharon — March 21, 2010 @ 5:51 pm | Reply

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