Local Heart, Global Soul

August 19, 2016

The Difference Between Dreams And Reality In The Cold Light Of Day…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Following my post of yesterday, Family Kiwidutch are visiting the  Burg Satzvey castle in Mechernich, Germany.

We have gone from one courtyard area to another, this one set up to host a very large meeting of the Honda Goldwing Road Riders Association.

Of course there was not only the larger expanse of the courtyard to see but also many details, so this post is about the shapes, colours, textures and forms of the aesthetically pleasing snippets that I happened to zoom in upon.

As usual these images are also saved into my digital scrapbook that is my artistic Inspirations and reference file so that I can find them back later in the thousands of photographs that make up my blog.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever use these for inspiration, maybe they will just be a folder of photographs that I intend to use but never quite manage to.  That thought hurts.

For some years now I have been trying to get back into drawing, but my lack of concentration and the pure frustration of being far from my old level of  expertise when it comes to handling even the most basic elements of pencils and pens has meant that I have almost no volume of actual artwork to show for my volumes of “wishing I did.”

Himself is getting used to art supplies and sketchbooks left on tables unused for days, even weeks on end.  Everything is set up but I am torn between wishing to be at my “old” level of creativity, and the very basic level of what I can do now, a lack of concentration and pain that produces so many mistakes and a perfectionist personality.

I constantly berate myself in my mind, telling myself that if you don’t draw for twenty years then of course you can not expect the level of old, but in practice the frustration of sitting down and drawing shaky, awkward lines in order to start practicing again is hard to overcome.

It probably sounds silly to you but for me the battle is real and I often sit by my notebooks in tears. It’s something that I want to overcome but have difficulty doing, and no one in my circle of friends and family is creative in an artistic sense so there is no support or motivation there, local classes are impossible for the foreseeable future because Himself is already squeezed to the absolute limit juggling helping me, the kids and a 94 year old mother, work and household. I do my best too help in the house but the curse of this accident is that it takes me forever to do almost nothing, and the consequences for any activity, no matter how nice, are literally painful. I’m trying to be positive, but some days it’s not possible so I stare at photographs that I dream of using and  think about the long hours I waste in inactivity, contributing not much.

I’m trying to kick myself into opening one of my notebooks and starting to scribble, without getting down about the results. At least these items in Burg Satzvey Castle are beautiful.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Burg Satzvey Castle / Mechernich / Germany

2 Comments »

  1. Wish I was there closer to you so we could kick each other (gently) to practicing our arts more!

    Comment by Carrie — August 28, 2016 @ 6:10 pm | Reply

    • Carrie,

      I know… heck I’d like to live closer to you anyway lol, we have a ton in common 🙂 I sooo need kicking (but not literally please!)

      Comment by kiwidutch — August 28, 2016 @ 7:24 pm | Reply


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