Local Heart, Global Soul

October 24, 2017

I Hope These Will Haunt Me…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Yesterday’s post about fellow blogger Maureen’s beginning exploration into watercolours has set me off on a tangent.

Most of my efforts to get back into drawing have failed, it never seems to be the right moment: I am too tired, I don’t have a sketchbook to hand at the right time, or I can’t concentrate, nothing goes right.

On the very few occasions I do manage to draw something I am frustrated that I can’t transfer the image in my head onto the paper.

I know how I want the end result to look like, but achieving it is another story completely.

What makes it worse is that until my early twenties creativity seemed to flow from the tips of my fingers like water.

When I sat to sketch I could put what I saw before me onto paper, the end results may not have always been exactly perfect (which artist is truly satisfied with their work?) but drawing, printing and painting were times of relaxation and fun, and not the exercises in frustration that they are now.

What happened?

Well, I travelled, I worked as a low paid temp which meant time but no money, I studied, more time, no money.

Then I got a permanent job, travelled and then had kids, so had the money but no time.

Then came the accident, no concentration, a lot of frustration and trying not to fall asleep over a sketchbook.

I know that after decades away from drawing it will take more than a few sketches to get back into the swing of things, but I’m impatient.

I’m beginning with doodles and quick studies. That way it’s a short burst of concentration and I can tell myself that  since it isn’t a real drawing yet that it doesn’t matter if it looks well, as my kids would say … sketchy.

I’m going to put a few first efforts on here: NOT for praise but rather as starting points, a place to come back at a later date and reflect on how far I have come. (Edited to add: the first one was done because one of the kids needed an idea of how to draw a pot, I’ve totally forgotten what for. The second one is the beginning of my obsession with leaves and trees: oak leaves being my fixation of the moment. The train was a quick sketch in response to a five year old friend’s demand after moment of disappointment, drama and tears: Ouch that trains “smile” ended up more creepy than nice. Luckily he was not a very discerning client and liked it all the same. The last one is another fixation of the moment: scrolls, heraldic elements and the like.  Fineliner pen on top of the first pencil sketch.)

With Halloween just around the corner maybe it’s fitting to say that I hope these will haunt me and spook me into doing more to get out of the drawing doldrums.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

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