Local Heart, Global Soul

April 23, 2019

Laughingly Taking The Piss Out Of Your Pit Stop…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

As with any large outdoor public gathering, the organisers of the event have to provide suitable restroom facilities.

In the case of the 2017 Food Truck festival in the Hague, the solution was the best I have ever seen.

Unbeknownst to me I had first contact with a member of this group was earlier at one of the food stands.

I spied a young lady in a sort of washer-woman costume, with curlers in her hair which was also wrapped up with a scarf and a sort of  long apron/over-all kind of caricature of the manner of 1930’s.

I asked if  I could take some photographs of her and she gladly obliged.

Later I noticed a large truck that had doors on the sides, these folded outwards to reveal a small passageway on one side of the truck and a row of toilet cubicles on the other.

It was like a cross between a series of upmarket port-a-loos, and normal toilet block.  Outside by the queue was  table where two ladies sat, and it turns out that the younger one of the two is the engagingly attired lady I had encountered earlier.

Together they were taking turns to organize the queue and keep the lavatories clean. I didn’t end up getting photographs of the large truck because there were too many parents taking young children to the toilet and with all of the comings and goings, I couldn’t satisfactorily edit them out of the shots.

I did however manage to take photograph of their company car.

This delightful vehicle was as ingenious as their attire:  nicknamed the “pleemobiel”  this is a kind of pun referencing the children’s toy brand of “Playmobile” (even the font is similar) but the “plee” part that the have changed is a cute/ funny nickname for pee, or urine.

The phrase “U plassie is ons passie” translates as “Your pee-pee is our passion” and the van is decorated with two ladies (Beb & Toos)decked out in the same attire as the younger and older lady at the table.

Their sense of humour carries on in the price cards on the table: for instance the one for Gents reads: “Beb & Toos (“Bezet” means “engaged/occupied”), Gentlemens Prices (tariffs): Is your “tokus” (slang for penis) shorter than 8cm ? Price: Euro 0.50 cents. (Is your tokus) longer … Price Euro 1.00

I showed Himself this and he laughed and said “Yes of course it’s meant to make men pay more because of pride and that they want people to think they have a big penis, but don’t forget, these men are also Dutch so I bet they will all go for the Euro 0.50 cent option simply because its cheaper an they want to save money“.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

I think he’s probably right, but hey, can’t fault them for trying!

The other sign was more conventional: you could get a token for a “losse plas’, basically one single use of the toilets for 1/2 of  1 munt, or Euro 0.50 cents.

(The “munt’ = being the special tickets that are the ‘currency” of this event and which needed to be purchased at a separate counter in order to buy food and drinks at all of the food trucks participating at the festival.)

You could also purchase a “plas bandje”  (a wrist band) for 1 Munt or Euro 2.00, entitling one person to unlimited use of the facilities for the whole day.

The last alternative would be to buy for 2  Munt or Euro 4.00 the “Voordeel Plasskart” which turns out to be “10 x piddle/pee-pee/take a leak/ spend a penny etc  for the (whole?) Club”  I’m not certain how this works but somehow you are paying for use of the loos for 10 occasions … just not certain how the “group’ element fits into this arrangement!

I have to admit that I may also be confused because I think this is dialect Dutch: for instance in the Gents sign: the “usual’ spelling of the word ‘kleiner” (smaller) is spelled here as “kleinert” , and the word “groter” (larger) here as “grotert”

Since this event is also an evening event, with bar stalls that only started to open up later in the afternoon / early evening, and music areas that were largely unoccupied during our visit, but clearly being set up, it’s a definite bet that as the family crowd fade away for children’s bedtimes after a day of dinning and playing, the adult party crowd come in to take their place.

Once the booze starts flowing it would be safe to assume that the need to use the privy, and therefore the W.C.’s here could create quite a demand.. maybe these ladies, busy with everyone’s ablutions, can not only provide a needed service to the event but also end up creating a thriving business in the process… so that they end up going home rather flush! … And all of this whilst laughingly taking the piss out of your pit stop!

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

General prices…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Prices for Gents…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

…And if you have read this far you may have noticed how many “Pee” and “Toilet” puns or nicknames I managed to squeeze into this post!

September 6, 2017

Adding To My Convenient Collection…

Filed under: GOUDA,LAVITORIAL - Intersting Loo's...,PHOTOGRAPHY,THE NETHERLANDS — kiwidutch @ 1:00 am
Tags: , ,

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

People who are drunk have a nasty habit of doing things that would completely unacceptable when done sober.

One of these is that of men peeing in public places, especially in the corners of buildings.

Answering the call of nature may seem to be an urgent requirement after closing hours, or even with the pub still open if it is a hot night and the man in question is drinking outside.

The inebriated mind may see the shadowed corner of a great church in the dark of the night as an easier option than traipsing back to the pubs conveniences, and with a line of cafes and pubs all along the central city side of St Jans Church in Gouda, clearly this has been an eternal problem.

In the middle ages, today’s solutions were unavailable, but in these days the “Gemeente” (city council) of Gouda have posted several sets of urinals along the long length of the church.

A fairly sculptural form was chosen has not to distract from the beauty of the church, they fit as discreetly (insofar as it is possible for a urinal to sit discreetly) into the local landscape. Regular readers will also know I have quite a collection of Lavatories on my blog… these conveniences just add to my convenient collection.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

April 11, 2017

If This Is The Posh One, Then Where Did The Squaddies Squat?

(photograph © Kiwidutch )

The strong, cold, gusting wind that greeted us at Fort Kijkduin during the 2016 Easter weekend a gives me a special sympathy for this next subject.

Whilst everybody else scurried hurriedly to the entrance to get out of the wind, Moi, Kiwidutch Plod, was relegated to the rear, slowly making my way with the crutches, taking both rest and photographic stops.

On the other hand though, the biggest advantage of my slowness is that I get to see the most… which is how I managed to add another quirky loo to my photo collection of beautiful, quirky and novel lavatories.

This one has a sign outside: “Officiers Latrine” so clearly historically this was one of the best loos in the Fort.

I find myself wondering that if this was the luxury version offered to the Officers,  then what was made available to the poor lesser ranks must have been pretty grim. Access to the Officers Lavatory was via the inner courtyard, exposed to all weathers, which here in North Holland could be brutal in winter. With no visible ventilation it probably stank too. Toilet facilities in centuries past always seemed to be rather rudimentary, but a soldiers life was already a tough one so adding a freezing seat for the basic necessities of life seems cruel indeed.

(photograph © Kiwidutch )

(photograph © Kiwidutch )

(photograph © Kiwidutch )

(photograph © Kiwidutch )

Den Helder: Fort Kijkduin / The Netherlands

April 5, 2017

A Seat On The “Throne”, These Ones Come In Pairs!

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Following yesterday’s post, Family Kiwidutch and friends are having lunch at the “Storm aan Zee” (Storm by the sea) café in Den Helder.

It was the Easter weekend of 2016 and we’ve just left Texel.

The nautical surroundings are wonderful for this location, and we smiled when we saw small sheepskin rugs on some of the seats as we came in.

What made us all giggle though, were several seats by the door that we missed when we first came in because we were too busy being blown in by the wind.

There were customers there earlier and now that one of them has gone, these seats have become more visible: they are actual toilet seats!

No, not functional ones of course! but two toilets mounted on to the wall, with solid tops in place of the usual seats. A small table in between the loos gives a place for drinks and food. It’s brilliantly quirky and it’s great to see people do a double-take when they see them. Yet another excellent addition to my ” Lavatorial, Interesting Loo’s” category of this blog.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Bezet” means “occupied”…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

January 30, 2017

This Cow Eats Weed Under Glitter Ball Lights… Seriously!

Filed under: ART,LAVITORIAL - Intersting Loo's...,PHOTOGRAPHY,THE NETHERLANDS — kiwidutch @ 1:00 am
Tags: ,
(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Due to the large deterioration on my mother in law’s health and rules pertaining to my long term medical leave, Himself and I managed one weekend away together  as the sum total of our “holidays”  in 2016.

There was however one other weekend when Himself and I made a lightning trip to the United Kingdom, sadly the occasion to attend the funeral of a long time friend.

With Kiwi Daughter and Little Mr were quickly farmed out to wonderful friends and family, Himself and I packed our bags into the car and headed south towards the channel tunnel.

We knew that some of places we had to get to would be difficult for me to manage on crutches, so packed the wheelchair in the car for that eventuality.

I try not to use it wherever possible but attempting to lessen the amount of Oxicodon I take also means tackling any distance on crutches is out of the question, it’s a choice: pain killers or wheels and I dislike both.

The weather was warm and soon the water bottles we had packed were empty, necessitating a stop at a service station so that we could use the convinces. It was there that I found yet another loo with a difference.

This disabled toilet also doubled as the “family / parent”  toilet so naturally there was a baby changing table installed, but someone with a sense of humour had also installed a few additional features, all of which made me smile.

First of all, I think that the people behind this have kids of their own, they clearly know about unco-operative babies and toddlers who wiggle and squirm during nappy (diaper) changes, surely it was no co-incidence that the position of a small glitter ball was close to the head end of the changing table.

Even better, the glitter ball revolved and a small lamp directed different coloured lights onto it, making a sort of star pattern on the ceiling.

There is nothing better than an unexpected set of moving coloured lights to keep little eyes transfixed and thoughts away from escaping the nappy change.

Secondly, to keep slightly older kids occupied for a minute or two, there was also a height chart painted on the wall, the “children” represented there were given the thoughtful names: “Loois” and “Looisa“, a touch that hopefully bought a smile to faces of parents jaded by the trauma of travelling on motorways with small children. The biggest smile however was on an adult level only, a large photograph of a Dutch cow covered the back wall, and she was chewing “grass” (of the marijna variety).  Something to add to the tourist misconception that Dutch people must surely be smoking weed constantly when reality is that the tourists partake far more than any Dutch people I know. This may have been just a toilet, but it’s a lovely change from the spartan ones usually on offer, and hopefully it made the families who used it smile as much as I did. I am all for adding an individual touch to these kinds of public spaces.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Pink lights on the ceiling and wall …

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Then changing to blue lights..

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

January 13, 2017

This Loo Makes A Splash…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

We stopped in the tiny settlement of Ward three years ago whilst on our New Zealand visit.

Of course regular readers will know that I have a category on my blog for unusual lavatories, so it will come as no surprise that this post is about a loo.

Of course once we had finished our lunch we needed to use the convinces, so I made my way with the kids to the end of the restaurant.

Just outside the entrance to the toilets there was a sign, featured below in my photographs.

No prizes for guessing that there were a few jokes about wiping the water off the seat before sitting down, and before I got to take my turn. Giggles ensued and we left the toilets will grins on our faces.

We loved the charm and sense of humour here, and when Kiwi Daughter and I went inside the ladies we found that the toilet seat was of the decorative variety, so I grabbed a photograph. No prizes for guessing that there were a few jokes about wiping the water off the seat before sitting down, and before I got to take my turn. Giggles ensued and we left the toilets will grins on our faces.
Ward is a lovely little place and we were pleased to have stopped here. Well fed and relieved, we head back to the car to make our way south bound on State Highway One.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

November 19, 2016

It All Hinges On An Brilliantly Simple Idea…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

You know I love everyday, normal stuff, ideas that are ingeniously simple, full of common sense and practical.

Out one day when I needed the lavatory and end up finding this total gem of an idea, literally “in the loo”.

Seriously, you can’t get more everyday or ordinary than in the smallest room in the house.

In fact I got so excited about this find that I completely forgot where I saw it (but am busy rattling my brain cells, that information is in here somewhere.) So, to the point (eventually)… what was I so excited about?

Well, It’s a loo seat within a loo seat. One size for adult derrieres and one size to fit the average small child: more importantly, perfect for the child undergoing the toilet training phase.

First, let us all remember the dark and hidden fact that all parents never ever forget the time that their children went though “that stage”. Mostly we wished it would have been less messy, with less tantrums and fewer traumas (ours, not theirs) and had taken literally been over in no time at all.

Like many families, we went though several trial runs, moments appeared when our kids appeared ready to make the leap from nappies (diapers) to using a toilet, and like most parents we also discovered that on these occasions the kid had other ideas. After reading books on every method under the sun we settled on an age old favourite: bribery.

A jar of small jar of Smarties (sweets similar to chocolate filled M & M’s) went on to the dining table. Kid could score the grand total of one Smartie for every successful toilet event.

Note the word “successful”. With Kiwi Daughter we left that word out and the result was that she went and parked herself on the potty, doing nothing except demanding the reward, then getting up and repeating the experience two minutes later.

Generally what actually happens is that kids experiment with the “idea” of not using nappies, but are not ready to commit to a permanent switch until far later on. They get their parents hopes up by seeming interested, but reality is that parents are the salespeople desperately pitching the toilet experience as a new and wonderful event. The kid asks all the right questions, lets us use all of the tricks up our sleeves, lets us talk-the-talk, taking all of our time and energy,  …before nonchalantly walking away from the deal.

In our family one of our experiments involved kids in the warmest summer months dressed in nothing but t-shirts and little toddler knickers, playing on the wooden living room floors with the potty “conveniently” parked in sight and a multitude of little reminders, until the inevitable happened: the puddle on the floor. The simple fact is that kids get so wrapped up in playing the they simply forget, and once it’s too late, it’s too late.

Then came the transition from the plastic potty to the actual toilet. Also a fraught time because for a small child the hole in that seat looks mighty large, and they know that what ever falls inside gets flushed away. Little wonder they are afraid and cling on to you for dear life. Even if at home you can have all the success you want with the familiar plastic potty, outside the home it’s back to the terror that the “big toilet” invokes, and it’s not practical to bring a large plastic potty with you everywhere.

Our children “played” with the idea of toilet training at ages two and again at three, no matter what we tried we were unsuccessful, then suddenly at three and a half they found their magic moment, indicated that they didn’t want their nappies ever again and were dry day and night in a week. Each had two or three “accidents” after that, but then that was it, everything perfect since. Somewhere there is a little switch that triggers when they are ready and once they are truly ready it all just falls into place. Making it easier for them to use an adult toilet after this is the icing on the cake. I know that for many parents there are long struggles, especially with night time bed wetting so I know that with both our kids we got off lightly, but who knows how soon they might have been ready if the right equipment had been available for them to use, especially outside of the home?

What I discovered on this day was the perfect solution, an additional toddler toilet seat, hinged into the main one, deployed by simply lowering it into place, removed by raising it up again. Why have adults not been smart enough to think of this amazing solution decades ago? I hope that slowly but surely you could find this as “standard” in every convenience: in all restaurants, kid friendly places, public buildings and any and everywhere that families with toddler might be. For long term environmental reasons, for simple “bog standard” common sense and for the sanity of parents everywhere… let’s try and make toilet training easier for kids.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

October 16, 2016

Your Next Surprise Can Throw You A Curve Ball…

Filed under: GERMANY,LAVITORIAL - Intersting Loo's...,PHOTOGRAPHY — kiwidutch @ 1:00 am
Tags: ,
(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

On the journey home from Stadtkyll and the Landal Holiday park in Germany last summer, we stopped at a  petrol station (gas station) for a toilet break.

As usual I am on the lookout for any unusual loos and this one was memorable for one simple reason, the cubical was oval in shape!

I was so busy taking a double take that I forgot to get photographs back towards the door but hopefully my photograph of the area around the hand basin gives you a little bit of an idea of the “curvy-ness” of the walls.

It’s not even a big service station, we weren’t even in a town, it was just one of those tiny non-descript rectangle-like grey places with pumps out the front and not much else.

My mind was bending over how it was even possible to put oval toilets in a tiny square building, or why anyone might want to. My only guess is that they had to accommodate the storage of something that was an unusual shape somewhere in the building and a curved wall solved the problem. Of course it’s also possible that an architect somewhere just wanted to mess with people’s minds. I wonder how many people wander in and out of these conveniences and don’t give the layout of the room another thought. I love discoveries like this though, I’m just annoyed with myself that I forgot to get the name of the German place where this was. It always pays to be on the lookout for somewhere different, your next surprise can turn up in the most unexpected of places.

October 12, 2016

Feeling Right At Home…

Filed under: ART,GERMANY,LAVITORIAL - Intersting Loo's...,PHOTOGRAPHY — kiwidutch @ 1:00 am
Tags: ,
(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Stopping for lunch at the “Im Pfenn” Restaurant in the small German town of Irrhausen, I find a new toilet to feature in my series of memorable conveniences.

This one wasn’t outstanding for humorous reasons, it wasn’t strange or quirky, but it had an unusual charm in that it was so far removed from the lavatories usually found in restaurants and cafes.

Why? … because it was not just practical but also personal. It felt more like you had wondered into the owners own home,  there were things like hand cream, tissues, and air freshener. There is also a sign “für alle Notfälle” (For all emergencies) on the bureau, I didn’t think to look inside the drawer but it appears there may have been some emergency feminine supplies available as well if needed.

Most tellingly though, not just a fold down changing table for the smallest customers, but also a small step so that little hands could reach the wash basin and a child’s toilet seat to cover the adult one so that mothers (I can only speak from the point of view of the Ladies loo) didn’t have to add the chore of balancing their toddlers on the edge of the seat to the one of taking them to a public toilet.

Many parents will know that toddlers undergoing the “joys” of toilet training hate hovering above the bowl. being  scared of falling into an adult sized toilet, but also that a child toilet cover is not the first thing you think of taking with you when going out for a meal, so taking the fear and (hopefully) drama out of toddler toileting is a very much appreciated. All of these features, along with a bright and jaunty “Wickle Tisch” sign (changing table) rather literally make you feel like you are right at home.

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

Im Pfenn Restaurant and Hotel / Irrhausen / Germany

July 6, 2016

A Loo With Modern Calm and Old Fashioned Charm…

Filed under: LAVITORIAL - Intersting Loo's...,LUXEMBOURG,VIANDEN — kiwidutch @ 1:00 am
Tags: ,

Following yesterday’s post about our lunch in Vianden, Luxemburg, our meal is finished and I needed to use the toilets before we leave. The bad news is that the facilities are down a set of stairs,  and stairs are my nemesis as far as pain is concerned. However needs must so I make my way downstairs slowly and laugh when I see the sweet signs on the cubical doors. Not only are the images humorous, they are also quaintly nostalgic and old fashioned, the polar opposite of the décor around me. The style of the basins and surrounds is a mixture of minimalist and natural… the water is sensor operated, the air dryer is not one of the bulky ones, but small but surprisingly effective. I love their style, but also their sense of humour. An excellent addition to my collection of beautiful / strange/ unusual and funny loos…

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

(photograph © Kiwidutch)

 

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